SPACE Cheat Sheet: Disagreement ≠ Disrespect

Your middle schooler disagrees with you and immediately you feel it: “Oh no. You’re not about to disrespect me.”
 
But disagreement and disrespect aren’t always the same thing. The SPACE Cheat Sheet helps you slow down and look at what’s actually happening before a difference of opinion turns into an unnecessary power struggle.
 
Using the SPACE Framework, you’ll consider:
S- Statement: What did they actually say?
P- Presentation: How did they say it?
A- Authority: Who has responsibility for the decision?
C- Compliance: Are they disagreeing or refusing?
E- Expectation: Are you expecting appropriate behavior or agreement?
 
This 2-page printable includes the complete SPACE Framework, guided reflection prompts for examining a recent disagreement, a disagreement-vs.-disrespect check, a home-to-school reflection to help your middle schooler unpack interactions with adults at school, and a simple challenge for practicing SPACE during the week.
 
This isn’t about giving up your authority or allowing your child to communicate any kind of way. It’s about recognizing that your child can have a voice without having the final say.
 
Before you label disagreement as disrespect, give the interaction a little SPACE.
Format: 2-page printable PDF
Companion to: Episode 3:Your Teen Can Disagree With You AND Still Respect You
Framework: SPACE