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The Bully, the Bullied, and the Story We're Missing | Gary Rivera

Writer: Tamara Braxton
Tamara Braxton
2 days ago
2 min read

Updated: 9 hours ago

What if your child is being bullied and you have absolutely no idea? Or what if the school calls and tells you that YOUR child is the one doing the bullying?

Neither is a conversation any parent wants to have.


In this episode of Middle School Mayhem™, I'm joined by author Gary Rivera for an honest conversation about bullying, the stories we don't always see, and why parents need to look beyond the labels. Drawing from his own childhood experiences and his book The Reluctant Bully, Gary challenges us to consider what's happening beneath the behavior, without excusing the harm it causes.


Watch the Conversation

[EMBED FULL VIDEO HERE]


Prefer to Listen?

[EMBED AUDIO PLAYER HERE]


In This Episode, We Talk About:

  • The bully and the bullied: Why a child can experience bullying and also engage in bullying behavior toward someone else.

  • The warning signs parents miss: How changes in confidence, friendships, and behavior may signal that something is happening at school.

  • Why kids suffer in silence: What keeps children from telling adults they're being bullied—and how parents can open the door to honest conversations.

  • When YOUR child is the bully: Why getting defensive or immediately denying the behavior can prevent us from understanding what's really going on.

  • The home–school connection: How staying involved and building relationships with teachers can help parents recognize problems sooner.

  • The lasting impact of bullying: Why the consequences of bullying, including what happens online, can extend far beyond middle school.


One Thing to Remember

Here's something I want parents to take away from this conversation: Before you rush to defend, accuse, or discipline, get curious. If your child is being bullied, they need to know they can tell you without fear of judgment. And if your child is the one doing the bullying, they need accountability AND an adult who's willing to understand what's driving the behavior.


Try asking, "Is there something happening at school that you haven't felt comfortable telling me?"


You might be surprised by what you learn when you create room for an honest answer.

Because behavior is information. And sometimes the most important part of the story is the part nobody has asked about yet.


Connect With Gary Rivera

Gary Rivera is the author of The Lunch Money Treasure and The Reluctant Bully, books that explore bullying, family relationships, and the challenges young people face as they grow up.

Through his writing and advocacy, Gary encourages families to have meaningful conversations about bullying, empathy, and the lasting impact of our choices.


Facebook & Instagram: Author Gary Rivera

LinkedIn: Gary Rivera


His books are available through major booksellers, including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. You can also visit his website to learn more about his books or inquire about signed copies.




Middle School Mayhem™ helps parents understand adolescent behavior, change the interaction, and strengthen the family.

Because Parenting... Doesn't Come With a Pamphlet.

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