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When Fitting In Means Hiding Who You Are | Heidi Solomon-Orlick

Writer: Tamara Braxton
Tamara Braxton
2 days ago
2 min read

Updated: 9 hours ago

Remember when your child wore whatever they wanted, said whatever came to mind, and couldn't have cared less what anybody thought? Then middle school happened.


Suddenly, they're questioning how they look, who they hang out with, and whether they're good enough. And somewhere along the way, fitting in can start to feel more important than being themselves.


In this episode of Middle School Mayhem™, I'm joined by children's author Heidi Solomon-Orlick for a heartfelt conversation about identity, confidence, belonging, and the pressures young people face as they grow up. We explore how parents can help children embrace what makes them unique while creating the kind of relationship where they feel safe enough to be themselves.


Watch the Conversation

[EMBED FULL VIDEO HERE]

Prefer to Listen?

[EMBED AUDIO PLAYER HERE]


In This Episode, We Talk About:

  • The pressure to fit in: Why middle schoolers can go from confidently being themselves to worrying about what everyone else thinks.

  • More than pretty: How appearance, social media, and peer expectations can influence self-worth, particularly for young girls.

  • When being different feels unsafe: How bullying, bias, and exclusion can cause children to hide parts of themselves to gain acceptance.

  • Finding their own voice: Helping children recognize their strengths, trust themselves, and understand that their opinions matter.

  • Asking instead of lecturing: Why meaningful questions and judgment-free conversations can be more powerful than another parenting speech.

  • The power of storytelling: How books, relatable characters, and family activities can help children explore complicated feelings and practice important life skills.


One Thing to Remember

Here's something I took away from my conversation with Heidi: Our job isn't to teach our children how to fit in. It's to make room for them to discover who they are.


And sometimes that means resisting the urge to correct every choice, question every interest, or offer our opinion before they've even finished talking. This week, try asking your child one simple question: "When do you feel most like yourself?"


Then listen. Not to correct. Not to teach. Just to understand. Because the world will spend plenty of time telling our children who they should be. Home should be a place where they feel safe discovering who they actually are.


Connect With Heidi Solomon-Orlick

Heidi Solomon-Orlick is a children's author passionate about helping young people develop confidence, celebrate their individuality, and discover the power of their own voices.


Through books including More Than Pretty: A Book of Inner Beauty and I Have a Voice: A Book of Listening, Heidi uses storytelling and interactive activities to encourage meaningful conversations about identity, self-worth, empathy, and belonging. Her upcoming book, I Am Me: A Book of Identity and Belonging, continues that mission.


Books: Available through her website, Amazon, and Barnes & Noble.


Visit Heidi's website to explore her books, learn more about her work, and connect with her.




Middle School Mayhem™ helps parents understand adolescent behavior, change the interaction, and strengthen the family.

Because Parenting... Doesn't Come With a Pamphlet.

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